"Seething mass of conflicting needs and hopes, dreams, dreads, and longings..."* Really? My issue these days is that I have no desires. I feel dried up, literally and figuratively. A while ago I had been praying consistently that the Lord would liberate me from any desire that isn't part of His Highest Will for me. The only life-germ left in me is the firm valuing of life itself, and the desire to be dependent emotionally on nothing but Christ. I guess the Lord has answered my prayer! But it feels so strange. I am not used to this! Feeling passionate about nothing is new to me! Is this what is meant by detachment? I don't know, but I do believe this is what I might call a golden crux: a golden moment and posture of being open to Being but otherwise not obliged or compelled to anything. This is the kind of freedom that requires much strength! What will I do with this freedom? That's the point: it's a real choice. Jesu juva.
*Quote from Margaret Silf's Inner Compass, Chapter 8: The Deepest Desire.
*Quote from Margaret Silf's Inner Compass, Chapter 8: The Deepest Desire.
