Saturday, May 6, 2017

Free From Desire

"Seething mass of conflicting needs and hopes, dreams, dreads, and longings..."*  Really?  My issue these days is that I have no desires.  I feel dried up, literally and figuratively.  A while ago I had been praying consistently that the Lord would liberate me from any desire that isn't part of His Highest Will for me.  The only life-germ left in me is the firm valuing of life itself, and the desire to be dependent emotionally on nothing but Christ.  I guess the Lord has answered my prayer!  But it feels so strange.  I am not used to this!  Feeling passionate about nothing is new to me!  Is this what is meant by detachment?  I don't know, but I do believe this is what I might call a golden crux: a golden moment and posture of being open to Being but otherwise not obliged or compelled to anything.  This is the kind of freedom that requires much strength!  What will I do with this freedom?  That's the point: it's a real choice.  Jesu juva.

*Quote from Margaret Silf's Inner Compass, Chapter 8: The Deepest Desire.

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